Getting out of the Way

In God's infinate and amazing wisdom he created the family. He could have continued to create each and every human like he did Adam and Eve.. speaking into them- and forming them... but he chose to instead place men and women in a place not just of creating children- but also to parent them. I wonder sometimes if that was such a good idea. Most of us mean well and we desire to be amazing and incredible creative and encouraging parents. We dream of guiding them (smoothly) into adulthood where they will gaze back with admiration at the amazing job we did raising them. We imagine they will sing our praises and we will hear them say "well done" my wonderful mom and dad- you are great!! We entertain the idea that we will be fulfilled and find great serenity and peace in our lives because we have done this amazing thing! Perhaps no one else has had these grandiose if not incredibly off base and CRAZY thoughts but me... but I think you have!!! ...You may not have said it.. but like the elephant in the room you most likely have thought about it a time or two! :) Somewhere between 18 months and 18 years... the amazing creatures that we have been entrusted to parent and guide and teach and train do something that the parenting books can not prepare you for- they begin to grow up.They have their own ideas and thoughts and dreams. They do not always (in fact hardly ever) look at the world, faith, and their future the way we want them to. We see them thinking for themselves (imagine that!) and sometimes... we see them making choices and decisions that we know deep inside will bring them pain... and consequences. Often times we can still have influence.. but more often than not- we don't. While we "know" this is going to happen... we can not truly grasp how this will feel. Our hearts are so intertwined with these our children that when the pulling away begins to occur we are not always ready for what the letting go means. Labor pains bring them physically into the world- but there are just as intense labor pains to release them to their future! The Lord has been showing me that as I release them to him.. it allows him the opportunity to work at a greater level in their lives. He does not really need my help... he is God all by himself. Sometimes I think he does.. need my help- I think he is moving too slowly- or not at all. He is. He is "I Am".. He is moving.. even if I don't see it and even if I don't feel it. Today I am leaning into his arms- asking him for the ability to find my peace in him.. as I get out of his way- and give him room to work. This is hard- but God is good.. and amazing and faithful to keep that what I have committed to him..

Looking UP

I often wonder … why that what I want to do I do not do… why what I want to do I do not do. The apostle Paul pondered that same thought.

I know to do right- but…

The doing right is not really about doing wrong… I am a fairly decent and somewhat good person... (At least I can rationalize that thought for the moment) I surely don’t intentionally do wrong. Instead I just don’t do ….

When does inaction or lack of action become wrong?

I am not talking just the action of doing- but the entire thought process of what do I allow my thoughts to focus on. Whatever is right and just and true those are the things I need to focus on. Not focusing on the confusion of the world. Not focusing on choices of others- not focusing on the fear of the future that permeates the fiber of many around me...but instead focusing on what so ever is right and just and true. I need to think on these things.

Lately I have not done that. My focus has been not God –ward. It has been instead focused on what I can see…what I can touch and what I can feel. These have been what I have focused on. I have allowed fear and trepidation to erode my peace- my joy my confidence and my hope. I cannot see the future and I surely most definitely cannot change the future by worrying about it. Instead I am called to look heavenward… I am called to set my eyes on things above.

It is not always easy to look up. Gravity pulls my head down. Shame does too. No matter. Today I am choosing to look up… regardless of what I see touch and feel.

Today… choosing to live with hope.

Today.

Tomorrow will have enough challenges of its own. I cannot live tomorrow – until I have lived the today that is mine.

Today… I choose to live… looking up!