Getting out of the Way

In God's infinate and amazing wisdom he created the family. He could have continued to create each and every human like he did Adam and Eve.. speaking into them- and forming them... but he chose to instead place men and women in a place not just of creating children- but also to parent them. I wonder sometimes if that was such a good idea. Most of us mean well and we desire to be amazing and incredible creative and encouraging parents. We dream of guiding them (smoothly) into adulthood where they will gaze back with admiration at the amazing job we did raising them. We imagine they will sing our praises and we will hear them say "well done" my wonderful mom and dad- you are great!! We entertain the idea that we will be fulfilled and find great serenity and peace in our lives because we have done this amazing thing! Perhaps no one else has had these grandiose if not incredibly off base and CRAZY thoughts but me... but I think you have!!! ...You may not have said it.. but like the elephant in the room you most likely have thought about it a time or two! :) Somewhere between 18 months and 18 years... the amazing creatures that we have been entrusted to parent and guide and teach and train do something that the parenting books can not prepare you for- they begin to grow up.They have their own ideas and thoughts and dreams. They do not always (in fact hardly ever) look at the world, faith, and their future the way we want them to. We see them thinking for themselves (imagine that!) and sometimes... we see them making choices and decisions that we know deep inside will bring them pain... and consequences. Often times we can still have influence.. but more often than not- we don't. While we "know" this is going to happen... we can not truly grasp how this will feel. Our hearts are so intertwined with these our children that when the pulling away begins to occur we are not always ready for what the letting go means. Labor pains bring them physically into the world- but there are just as intense labor pains to release them to their future! The Lord has been showing me that as I release them to him.. it allows him the opportunity to work at a greater level in their lives. He does not really need my help... he is God all by himself. Sometimes I think he does.. need my help- I think he is moving too slowly- or not at all. He is. He is "I Am".. He is moving.. even if I don't see it and even if I don't feel it. Today I am leaning into his arms- asking him for the ability to find my peace in him.. as I get out of his way- and give him room to work. This is hard- but God is good.. and amazing and faithful to keep that what I have committed to him..

Looking UP

I often wonder … why that what I want to do I do not do… why what I want to do I do not do. The apostle Paul pondered that same thought.

I know to do right- but…

The doing right is not really about doing wrong… I am a fairly decent and somewhat good person... (At least I can rationalize that thought for the moment) I surely don’t intentionally do wrong. Instead I just don’t do ….

When does inaction or lack of action become wrong?

I am not talking just the action of doing- but the entire thought process of what do I allow my thoughts to focus on. Whatever is right and just and true those are the things I need to focus on. Not focusing on the confusion of the world. Not focusing on choices of others- not focusing on the fear of the future that permeates the fiber of many around me...but instead focusing on what so ever is right and just and true. I need to think on these things.

Lately I have not done that. My focus has been not God –ward. It has been instead focused on what I can see…what I can touch and what I can feel. These have been what I have focused on. I have allowed fear and trepidation to erode my peace- my joy my confidence and my hope. I cannot see the future and I surely most definitely cannot change the future by worrying about it. Instead I am called to look heavenward… I am called to set my eyes on things above.

It is not always easy to look up. Gravity pulls my head down. Shame does too. No matter. Today I am choosing to look up… regardless of what I see touch and feel.

Today… choosing to live with hope.

Today.

Tomorrow will have enough challenges of its own. I cannot live tomorrow – until I have lived the today that is mine.

Today… I choose to live… looking up!

The GOAL

Last year I ran my second 5k race- the feeling was euphoria as I crossed the finish line.. never mind I had not trained much ... and it was a slow and not so pretty run.... the accomplishment was not to win.. but to finish. And... finish I did!! But this year I decided I would step up to the goal... a notch- 10k Fifth Third Riverbank Run: 53riverbankrun.com... with training... not just "running". This time would be different. I have chosen to be ready...to prepare and to train. Now I have been reading some articles in my local Grand Rapids Press- most people training- running- with friends and clubs. I on the other hand- am running yes.. but with a not so steady training schedule... and no clubs or friends. Its not that I don't have friends... its just that for some reason... this is a train alone race... I have taken to praying while I run....I am ALSO learning from Joyce Meyers "Simple Prayers" joycemeyer.org ... that it is oky to run and pray at the same time- in fact I am finding it is a really good thing... this praying and running and talking to God! Loving the solitude of the run!! I am up to 4.5 miles this is good- I am improving and increasing the endurance a little at a time- I am getting so excited about this goal that I can hardly wait for: May 8, 2010to arrive... I WILL be there! This is a reach for me...but it is a good reach. This goal is symbolically representing to ME... all the goals I have set and not completed over the years... and that failure and that lack of discipline is going to be literally trampled under my feet! Check in on my blog for updates.... and "See Jane (or in this case ) NANCY run...see her run fast!! I will need a cheering section... I will run for all of you who have ever wanted to run... call me write to me... truly I want this run to be for the lonely OR those who don't think you can.... (for the record you can)for people the ones who wish they could they run but are not able to... is that you? I"ll run the race for you...you let me know- forward a pic to me via email nrb2181@sbcglobal,net.. I would love to hear your story- and I would e honored to run as a representative to others.. This IS going to be a special day...and something special is going to happen ...If you would like to be a part a part of this mega moment or amazing JOY...... if want to run "with" me..I'd love to take you along! Just let me know!